Saturday, January 29, 2011

C is for Cat

Remember, I know where you sleep.

Yeah, yeah...hail to the queen.  I say “to hail WITH the queen”.  I mean, I’m trying to be as good natured as a cat can be, but this is getting ridiculous.

Let’s start with the kitty litter issue.  Yes, it’s big and oversized….but I’m a big boned girl and need the space.  And having to crawl through a hole in the wall to enter it?  Puleeze!  It’s dark in there, there’s no light (even though I have submitted all the necessary forms to the landlords) so I have to sniff and feel my way around.   Does that sound good to YOU?

Does this fur make me look fat?  I'm fluffy...that's all!
And Left Brain with his “we need more exercise” crap.  Speak for yourself big boy….I’m fine with my size.  I mean, do I LOOK like I need to loose weight?

The best part about the whole deal is getting tuna twice a day.  It used to just be at happy hour, but they feel it’s a nice diversion for me as they stick the needle into me with the insulin.  Like I don’t know THAT’S happening.  But….it’s two servings of my favorite food so I play along.

I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes
and keeping my paws on the mouse.
Then there’s the jokes about my sleeping all the time...that’s getting old.  I am a senior feline after all.  I’m 13 human years and lord knows how many cat years that equates to.  Plus they don’t realize that at night while they sleep I’m busy on the computer going to the sites they think are locked.  I can only type so fast since I don’t have thumbs and my paws are thick and clumsy on a keyboard.  If I had thumbs I’d be able to open my own tuna cans and I’m probably stick out a thumb and hitchhike my way outta here.

They feel so guilty for leaving me “all alone” when they run into town and go on their hikes.  I like to let them wallow in that, it pays big dividends.  Mostly, inside I’m screaming...geeez!  Go take a hike!  We don’t get many channels here and I’m bummed out from not having seen Animal Planet for weeks now.  I’ll never catch up on Meer Cat Manor.

And they think THEY'RE in charge!  HA!
I'd like to put a meow out to Jane, Patty and Dr Havlik and everyone at Sand Lake VCA.  I sure miss you guys and can't wait until I visit your clinic again.  Yeah, right!

Oh.  I hear the car.  I gotta sign off now and pretend I’m sleeping.

She Devil Rules!  Those two are fools!

1 comment:

  1. Dear She Devil,
    Personally, I think you are a much better writer than the Queen, but probably not best to let her know that--it's not good to bite the hand that feeds you (altho that IS kind of fun now and then! Now stay nice and try not to be too catty.
    Love, your biggest friend, all 22# of me,
    Bill the Cat =^..^=