And I thought buying drugs near the border would be easy

Maybe there's a lot of drug buying going on near here, but only for humans.  Try to refill an insulin prescription for a cat and it's a whole different story.  Here's how it went down.


She Devil has a decent supply of insulin for her diabetes right now but will need more before leaving in March for Wisconsin.  Yes, I could have purchased it in advance, but with her general health and age I didn't want to purchase it in advance in case...well, you know.


I had checked out in advance and had the address and phone number of another VCA Animal hospital nearby.  So, no problemo...I just sent an email to my trusty vet friends back home to fax an order to them and I'd pick it up later.  Hmm.  It seems that there is no answer at this place. There is no website, just an address and a nonworking phone.  Maybe it's just a front for something else?  Who knows.


So, I found another vet nearby called the Furry Friends Animal Hospital.  I did make sure this really was for pets and not for Furrys, a group I was unaware of until my nephew Jon introduced me to his world of people who dress up as animals.  I always learn something from this guy.  I recall at Thanksgiving touching up his eyes while he groomed his arms.  Strange evening.


Anyway, no problem.  I contacted my vet and had them send the info to them for the prescription.  Piece of cake.  They contacted me back and explained that they would not be able to fill this for She Devil until she had established a relationship with the vet.  What?  I inquired as to whether this involved dinner and drinks, as she was not that kind of kitty!  No, no she explained.  Texas law demands that the vet see the animal before prescribing any meds.


She further assured me that there would be no expense for this consultation.  Whoop de doo.  I assured her they really did not want to meet this cat - she is well known back home for her stunning personality.  She checked with the vet to see if we could bypass this - nope.  Then I was informed that one way around this was to have my vet call in the prescription to any Walgreen's.  I stressed again that this was a special insulin for cats and not humans.  Not a problem she assured me, they do this all the time.


So another message was sent to the vets back home to fax it to the Walgreen's store.  Now, keep in mind that I'm still not familiar with this town and get my east and west mixed up.


After a lovely outing with Left Brain the next day, we stopped by the Walgreen's to pick up the meds.  Finally!  Whoops.  Wrong one.  The one I called it into was way across town - further away from our RV park.  So, off we go....again.  I sauntered up to the pharmacy desk after again waiting my turn in line and find that yes, they did receive that.  And no, it's not in their system, so they can't order it.  Let's just say Left Brain was less than thrilled at this.


So I was resigned to calling the Furry Friends again to set up a "date" to establish a relationship with this vet.  This was fine - the appointment was made for 2:00 the next day.


The next day we packed up She Devil and the three of us traveled to the vet's office.  She Devil looked concerned and very suspicious.  We'd never taken her for a tour of the highlights of Harlingen before, why now?  As we pulled up she relaxed and I couldn't figure out why, except that the building did look like a motel.  Ahhh.  She was looking forward to a night of room service and hanging out again.  Nope.  There was a small dog in the lobby whose owner seemed very concerned about having a cat coming in.  Riding on my shoulder with no harness or cage.  "He doesn't like cats" she explained nervously as she tightened her grip on the leash.  "It's okay" I replied. "I've got a good grip on her, I think your dog is safe."  That seemed to confuse her and she scrambled out the side door...and her little dog, too.

Finally, the infamous, bad ass cat they had heard about had shown up for the appointment.  We went right to the scales where she weighed in at 14.6 pounds and into the exam room.  Then the lady came back in and explained that the vet was in surgery much longer than expected and we could either leave the cat with them  or come back tomorrow.  


There was no way I was going to leave my precious in a strange vet office, even if there wasn't a persistent whining from the small dog they were boarding in the other room.  No way, Jose.  This was no way to start "a relationship"...with a broken date!  I suggested that since the dog in the other room  was knocked out anyway, couldn't I just waltz her into the room so he could verify that she really did exist and they could just order the meds.  Nope.  He has to do a hands on exam.  First he wants a "relationship" and now he's opening admitting he's going to fondling my little darling.  How indelicate!

The good news was that they offered to at least order the meds so I could bring her in for her exam and pick up the drugs.  That was what I thought anyway.  So, I agreed to wait for their call in the morning to reschedule her date and bring her in again.  As we left the receptionist took hold of both sides of She Devil's head and gave her a big kiss....and lived to tell about it.  I was stunned.  Was this the cat whisperer?  I was telling Left Brain about it when she came out to the car with one more question about paying for the drugs and gave her another kiss through the window.  Neither of us could speak.  And we had warned them about her aggressive, attacking nature.  Way to to go She Devil, make me look like a lunatic in from of the Furry Friends! So, we trundled off back home and She Devil was able to dodge the bullet.


The next day they called and set up the appointment for 2:00.  Left Brain was out golfing, so I headed out for Walmart to do my shopping and had lunch with my Kindle at Panda Express.  Love their firecracker chicken.  Then I stopped at HEB for the perishables before returning home.  When I arrived to put away the groceries Left Brain had returned and could go with me.  This is nice, another family outing.


So, we packed up She Devil once more for her blind date and trekked back to the clinic.  This time she had her temperature taken - always a mood setter for her.  Then we waited for the infamous DR to enter the room.  He sauntered in, introducing himself and shaking hands with us and proceeded to examine She Devil.  He managed to do the palpation and dental exam - easy to do with the hissing going on.


He proceeded to ask questions about her history and advised us on different drugs that might work and then smugly announced that he wouldn't be making any changes to her care at this time.  As much as I wanted to knock him off his pedestal, I didn't have the drugs yet, so I played nice and went along.  I had no intention of changing one damn thing from what the vets that have known her all her life had set up.  He kept reminding me that this order was for a "controlled substance" and made me feel like I was doing something shady, like a drug hand off in the back alley.


Then he told us the "controlled substance" would be ordered and should arrive tomorrow afternoon.  If there is a delay, it might come in on Saturday.  They were closed on Saturday, but I could pick it up at the Pets & Paws Spa next door.  So much for cloak and dagger with these hard to get drugs.  He'll just leave them in the fridge of the doggy spa with the shampoo and herbal treatments.  Yikes.


I will be so happy when I have the drugs in my hot little hands for the return trip and never have to visit him again.  Then as we're leaving he comes back to the front counter with a gorgeous ginger and white cat who's nuzzling him and acting all lovely dovey.  Was this to show me what a real cat should act like? Or was that "date" drugged up and inordinately submissive.  I summed him up as a smug arrogant jerk with no personality what so ever and I will do every thing in my power to make sure She Devil never has a "relationship" with him.  Even Left Brain said he gave him the creeps.


Long Live the Queen of "Relationships"