Monday, May 9, 2011

Dreary skies today

I am so thankful that Mother's Day was sunny and bright.  If it were windy and gray like today it may have pushed me over the edge.  I'm so glad that holiday is done.  I've made it past the first year anniversary of my mother's death and now mother's day. Next will come her birthday later this month.  Each day and remembrance brings a little more closure. 
Thank you to all who reached out to me with their comments and insights as to their own mother relationships.  
I do believe that my experience is not unique in any way.  There were many of us who never heard the comforting words or felt the hugs, possibly due to the fact that's just not the way things were done back in their day.  It helps to know I'm not alone in this and that many of you have taken the same approach I have in trying to change this with our children and grandchildren.

It's lovely to have acknowledgement from your children that they value you as their parent and it hurts when you hear nothing from them.  To me being ignored is the most painful, possibly due to my own invisible childhood.  But, the underlying fact is that you have to create your own life.  To take what circumstances you have been given, good or bad, and make them work for you.  Turn your life into the one you want to live, not just the hand you have been dealt. There is no magic to having someone make you feel good or being satisfied.  You must love yourself first and take care of your own needs, no one can do that for you.

I celebrated mother's day by going to a Chinese buffet with my trusty Kindle and eating and reading, two of my favorite activities.  Then I met up with a friend and went to the production of Chicago at our local community theater.  Had some leftovers for supper and watched television.  Pretty typical night for me, but a comfortable one.  Now if I could just get out in the garden!

Long Live the Queen of Survival


  1. You're my "Kindled" spirit.
    I too, enjoyed Chinese buffet and reading yesterday.

  2. Oh my, I LOVE your bluebird photos!!!!! I have rarely ever seen a bluebird here. The only time I got to photograph one was when I was in Wisconsin visiting with Mary Ann. I jealous!!

    You have a great day, hugs, Edna B.

  3. Cheryl, not only do you have a way with a camera, you have a way with words. The first year of "firsts" is indeed painful. Still now, 10 and 23 years after my parents' deaths, I have difficult days and just want them to be over. As my son Matt told me on one of those days, "Don't weep because it's over, but smile because it happened". Applies to relationships with one's children as well.