Thursday, October 17, 2013

The battle of the CPAP machine

I’ve adjusted pretty nicely to using my CPAP, at least until I met George and Gracie.  They don’t seem to like it very much at all.
As you see in this photo he's trying to suffocate me with his weight.  Photo courtesy of Left Brain.

Maybe it’s the blast of cool air when they approach my face.  Maybe it’s because I sleep so soundly I ignore their demands.  That’s mostly likely the issue here.

When George starts to wake me at 6am he starts very gently, bless his heart.

It begins with a nudge to my hand to pet him.  This I can do without fully waking and is okay.  But his goal is to have me up on my feet and headed towards the cat food at the first light of day. So he begins to ramp it up.

Next comes what I call the “happy feet” where he kneads the pillow next to my head. This may sound relaxing but let me tell you…it is not.  He manages to pull in just enough hair to hurt.  It definitely does make me fully awake.

If I can wait this out and he gives up (which takes a fairly long time) he moves into the next stage of battle. He attacks the tubing of the CPAP.  I can sense the insertion of teeth more than feel it.  Grrrr.  I have so many strips of duct tape on this tubing now it’s ridiculous.  So it was time for war!

Gracie is showing all the places the tubing had to be fixed due to George's biting.
She would NEVER do such a thing.

Hmmm, she does look like she's considering it.
I purchased some gray pipe insulation tubes, you know …the ones that are slit along one side to put it over the pipes in your basement.   Now the tubing is covered with this thick foamy material that he does not like in his mouth at all.   Yup….game on, George!

Okay, this wasn’t working all that well as it was quite heavy now and doesn’t bend as well as the clear tubing did.  If I turn wrong the weight of it removes the nose piece and the sound of rushing air wakes both Left Brain and me.  So, the solid grey tubing had to go and now I have pieces of tubing to allow for a better bending of the hose.

My other defense is to pull the covers up over my head to protect my hair and the tubing.  Left Brain was concerned with how I was breathing under there until he grasped the concept of having a CPAP device that doubles as scuba gear.

I was feeling quite smug doing this just the other day when I felt Gracie run across the bed, over my back and up onto the CPAP machine itself, where she promptly  sat down on the button thus turning the CPAP machine off.

Gasping for breath I came out from under the covers to see both their smug expressions. Dang…I’d been tag teamed by the feline duo.   Now what could I do?

Just feed the kitties and nobody will get hurt!

Yup, I got up and fed the cats.

Long Live the Hopelessly Outnumbered and Outmaneuvered Queen


  1. Oh they are so smart, aren't they?!Bless their hearts.

  2. I think your kitties are hilarious!! At least you'll never have to worry about sleeping late and missing an appointment. That photo of them looks as though they are busy thinking up some new mischief. lol. You have a wonderful day my friend. Hugs, Edna B.

  3. love love love the ongoing cat versus Cheryl saga. You all are so cute. So Left Brain had to take the picture of you surrounded with fur? :-) pond lois

  4. It never occured to me that the cats might damage the hose! I use an Autopap. Lou, the big male likes to lie on my chest, I thinks he doesn't mind the blowing air. During the winter he likes to stand on the humidifier to get a faceful of cool damp air. Sometimes both cats are on me, Lou on my chest, Millie on my legs.

  5. Those of us who encouraged you to get your cats didn't remind you of a few of the downsides ... like never being able to sleep in, in the morning. And I am so glad you are showing and explaining the CPAP in your humorous way for people to understand what they do ... hmmm scubba gear, never thought of that one.
    Gracie and George have your number ... you may as well give up now. I have been fighting this battle for years and actually was winning because I would put the cats out of the bedroom and shut the door ... then enters Izzi. I tried that once with her and she started scratching the door ... I started seeing $ signs in my twilight sleep and picturing what it would take to replace the door. So then I started putting the cats out and leaving Izzi in. That worked for awhile until she started grabbing me with her paws ... much more strength then the cats and painful on the bare skin. I can scold her and tell her to lie down, but that doesn't last long because then, in my twilight sleep, I see Izzi crossing her legs and pacing because she NEEDS to go out ... oh well, I am a morning person anyway, so I am up at crack of dawn every day. And, every day I think how nice it would be to sleep in once in awhile ... dream on:) You, George, Gracie and the CPAP are a stitch Queen of humor ... do you ever get to take a nap?

    Andrea @ From The Sol