I’ve adjusted pretty nicely to using my CPAP, at least until I met George and Gracie. They don’t seem to like it very much at all.
|As you see in this photo he's trying to suffocate me with his weight. Photo courtesy of Left Brain.|
Maybe it’s the blast of cool air when they approach my face. Maybe it’s because I sleep so soundly I ignore their demands. That’s mostly likely the issue here.
When George starts to wake me at 6am he starts very gently, bless his heart.
It begins with a nudge to my hand to pet him. This I can do without fully waking and is okay. But his goal is to have me up on my feet and headed towards the cat food at the first light of day. So he begins to ramp it up.
Next comes what I call the “happy feet” where he kneads the pillow next to my head. This may sound relaxing but let me tell you…it is not. He manages to pull in just enough hair to hurt. It definitely does make me fully awake.
If I can wait this out and he gives up (which takes a fairly long time) he moves into the next stage of battle. He attacks the tubing of the CPAP. I can sense the insertion of teeth more than feel it. Grrrr. I have so many strips of duct tape on this tubing now it’s ridiculous. So it was time for war!
purchased some gray pipe insulation tubes, you know …the ones that are slit
along one side to put it over the pipes in your basement. Now the tubing is covered with this thick
foamy material that he does not like in his mouth at all. Yup….game on, George!
|Gracie is showing all the places the tubing had to be fixed due to George's biting.|
She would NEVER do such a thing.
|Hmmm, she does look like she's considering it.|
Okay, this wasn’t working all that well as it was quite heavy now and doesn’t bend as well as the clear tubing did. If I turn wrong the weight of it removes the nose piece and the sound of rushing air wakes both Left Brain and me. So, the solid grey tubing had to go and now I have pieces of tubing to allow for a better bending of the hose.
My other defense is to pull the covers up over my head to protect my hair and the tubing. Left Brain was concerned with how I was breathing under there until he grasped the concept of having a CPAP device that doubles as scuba gear.
I was feeling quite smug doing this just the other day when I felt Gracie run across the bed, over my back and up onto the CPAP machine itself, where she promptly sat down on the button thus turning the CPAP machine off.
Gasping for breath I came out from under the covers to see both their smug expressions. Dang…I’d been tag teamed by the feline duo. Now what could I do?
|Just feed the kitties and nobody will get hurt!|
Yup, I got up and fed the cats.
Long Live the Hopelessly Outnumbered and Outmaneuvered Queen