Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Danger: mood swings ahead

Oh yeah?  Well, let me tell you about MY day!
While I am excited about our journey and growth as a couple on this adventure, I'd be lying if I said I've never looked back. 
There have been some rough patches along the way when we have what they call "a failure to communicate" that leads to anger, resentment and hurt feelings.  Usually mine as he's of a much more even temperment.

Recently I hit a mental pothole of significant size.  But luckily I am married to the most patient and loving of all men.  He sat with me and listened to me rant and rave and cry and moan and held my hands.  Possibly so I wouldn't hit him , but I like to think it was just out of sheer love.

I cried and lamented about how much I missed everything, my friends, my neighbors, my shul, my gardens, my art shows, going to movies, my hot tub, my former routine...everything.  He offered to give this up immediately and return to the home area if that's what I wanted.  And as much as I love him for that, I know that's not the answer.  This is a unique chance to grow and develop as a person and that never comes without a cost. 

 So I will continue on with our new life knowing I have the full support of the wonderful man I married.

mirror was blurred to show the items better
When I have these moments (and they are far and few between) he gets this very bewildered look as I recount every personal injustice that I've ever suffered, but knows enough to nod his head and say the right things. 

He understands this is the way of the female and how we process emotions.  He gets it...don't rush in to FIX it...just listen.

When we started our adventure I didn't have much of my art work up. At first I couldn't understand why and then it dawned on me. It was too painful.  My artwork is what defined who I was, it was how I connected with the local community.  It was my identity.  And now it was gone.

Mystic Rivera was my signature doll
and traveled with me to art shows
But as I shift and adjust to the changes in our life I am discovering other ways to be creative.  Cooking has certainly been an outlet for me but I need to have something  else to do with my hands.  So I've started a little "emergency craft kit" with knitting needles, crochet hooks, yarn, embroidery supplies and the like.  There's some room to add quilting items later also.  Now when I have itchy fingers, I can break open my little craft kit and satisfy the urge.

As I've healed,the few dolls that I chose to travel with us have come out of hiding.  And now instead of making me feel sad, they brighten my day.  Because I still am that dollmaker, that creative person.  My work is still out there with other people and other places. I still have ideas waiting to be channeled into a physical presence.

The need to create will never go away with me, but  I am reminded that it can be released in many ways.  Now it's in my photography and writing as well as finding creative solutions to storage challenges.  Who knows what it may be tomorrow?

Long Live the Queen of Domestic Tranquility


  1. I'm happy you have a husband that understands you and listens when you need to rant. Please know if you need a female blood relation to spill it out to that I'm always here for you as well.
    Also, on a daily basis I see and appreciate the items you have crafted for me. I wish I had your talent. I love your photography and you inspire me to become a better photographer. I still remember the "guess what this is" pictures you used to send to me as a kid:-) Love you!

  2. I agree, you are very lucky to have such a wonderful hubby. You have a very special relationship with him. And, you have an especially wonderful sense of humor. Is there a book out there explaining the "how to's" and the "what to do and not to do's"? With your marvelous style of humorous writing, this could be another interesting project for you. Keep your beautiful dolls up where you can see them. I have some of my photos hung here so that I can be inspired by them. You have a wonderful day my friend. Hugs, Edna B.

  3. Well sometimes I wish I was off discovering the world as you are. Life is a tightrope. Enjoy this part to all heck, and then you can decide your next precarious step. pond lois