Monday, July 9, 2012

What's in your wallet?

When we were at the Science Museum exhibit on Pirates with the grandkids recently, all I could think of was the commercial with the pirates asking "what's in YOUR wallet?".

This reminded me of a couple of things.  Not everyone uses a wallet.  Some people (mainly woman) prefer to carry a purse or a little wrist purse instead.  And then there are those woman who like to keep it really light and use their cleavage instead.

I am not one of these women and not because I wouldn't, but I can't.  You need to have considerably more assets than I was born with to pull this off.  Sure, I've tried it...but when things just drop straight through enough times I gave it up.

It's amazing to me what women will store in their "chest of drawers".  Just follow around some at Wal-Mart and see what I mean.

I recall the time that the Divine Miss M and I were plant shopping and we wandered into this little Mom and Pop Garden Center and were browsing around.  Neither of us gave much thought when we heard the cell phone ringing but both were astonished by where the phone was.

The lady for whom the bell tolled calmly pulled her blouse up bunching it under her chin and fished the phone out from her amble bossum.  What really flabbergasted us was that she proceeded to then have a lengthly conversation with the blouse still resting on top of her bra.  Thank goodness she was wearing a bra!  This didn't seem to bother her at all and we tried not to stare....or laugh.  It was all we could do to contain ourselves until we both convulsed into giggling the second the car doors closed.  Could this have been Ma Bell? Yikes.

I have seen women whip out pens, makeup, kleenex, pacifiers and other sundry items from their Victoria's Secret Storage Locker.  So what happened the other day shouldn't have surprised me...but it did.

My daughter and I were enjoying some bonding time and had just finished a lovely Indian cuisine and long conversation.  While we were driving back home I thanked her for the lovely lunch since she accepted the bill for both of us.  Such a sweet girl!

Her eyes got huge and she swooped into her cleavage and yanked out her credit card while shouting "I didn't!"   Oooops.  We were so engrossed in our chatting that we walked out of the restraunt without paying.  Uh oh.  Talk about feeling like a Boob...pun intended.

But due to the beauty of cell phones (regardless of where they might be stored) we were able to Google the restraunt, call them and make payment over the phone with the Visa card.  She gave him a very nice tip for his inconvenience.

So, perhaps we need a new commercial with a theme of "What's in YOUR cleavage?"

Long Live the Queen of Purses


  1. I must confess to carrying a tissue there. Of course, in this heat, the tissue gets soggy so that's not a good idea. I needed that chuckle. Thank you. Have a wonderful night, hugs, Edna B.

  2. My Mother in law, Bless her heart, always kept a kleenex tucked under one of her bra straps. Gee they should be good for something.