Sunday, May 17, 2015

A Tale of Two Nostrils

Image courtesy of Shayna Karnick

Remember those stories of children getting beans stuck up their noses?  How silly, right?  Well, I understand now how that can happen.

It's allergy season and Left Brain and I have both been sneezing and blowing our noses on a regular basis. Therefore, a box of tissues is usually close at hand.

However convenient they may be, I still find that after one blow I tuck the slightly used tissue aside for later use.  I don't think I am the only one who does this.  You know who you are. Don't judge me.

Anyway, I digress.  The tissue that is awaiting further opportunities goes into a little pocket on the passenger side door.  Not a bad plan.

Now, this is where it went hinky.  Left Brain and I like to chew some gum after we've had lunch out somewhere, so I also like to have some waste paper or tissue in this same little pocket for when we spit it out.  Neither of us can stand to have it in our mouths more than about 30 minutes.

Not thinking, I grabbed the tissue from the door pocket and positioned it for my second blowing of the nose.  Yup...you guessed it.  This was the tissue that had the old gum in it, which was now wedged up my left nostril.

I'm thinking a bean would have much easier to remove since it remains solid, unlike an old wad of chewing gum that is...shall we say....sticky.  Especially when it bonds with those little nose hairs that are way in the back.  Those hairs have a purpose, but I don't think securing chewing gum was one of them.

As I'm trying to extract the gum from the left nostril, it's stretching out.... as gum will do.  It must have looked pretty gross, because the lady's face in the car that pulled up next to us was priceless.  I wanted to lower the window and explain it wasn't snot, but rather an old piece of chewing gum, and then decided that really didn't seem to be a valid explanation.

Seeing her face made me laugh and sometimes when I laugh hard I snort (and pee my pants, but that's another story).  

Did you know you can blow a bubble through your nose? 

I'd never considered the logistics of this before, but please just take my word for it that it is possible.  There's really no need to attempt it yourself to prove or disclaim my statement.

Once we arrived home I went after it with a Q-Tip to remove the left over stuff and this sent me into a sneezing spasm.  Something about a foreign object stuck up your nose causes sneezing I guess.  Another side effect is laughter.

And when your husband looks worried (and slightly appalled) and starts shouting "It's NOT funny!", well that's when I laughed so hard my tears ran down my legs.

But finally I find myself this evening all cleaned up and gum free...and it seems to have helped my allergies.

Long Live the Queen of Sneeze

Yes, I realize the pretty photo of the flower had nothing to do with the story, but it was better than a photo of my plugged up nose.

16 comments:

  1. So funny. Similar issue one time with just as logical of a explanation only it was a kernel of popcorn discovered by my gynecologist. My nieces all follow stories of my adventures with my favorite opening line, "It could happen to anyone!"

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  2. Hilarious! You may not believe this, but I have done similar things...not with my nose, though...and Bill reacts the same way, "Not funny!" Which makes it so much funnier! It just is, isn't it? Great story here. Thank you.

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  4. I had an emergency room visit for the q-tip cotton that came off in another orifice, not my nose but my ear. That was an expensive removal that took all of 50 seconds.

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  5. Only you could post this and still face all the people who will read it. Guess that's part of why you are so special to me!

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  6. How hilarious...makes me giggle!! Which can be a problem...I might pee in my pants!!! Lol

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  7. I love it that you are not afraid to get real and discuss anything. You are my hero, on the pickleball court and off. By the way, althought winning isn't everything, it sure was fun to come from a clearly losing pickleball score to a winning score. Maybe we added wrong? Nope. We played like the gal demons we are. :-)

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  8. Oh my gosh this was probably the funniest thing I've read today. I can only imagine what the lady watching you thought. So glad it had a decent outcome.

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  9. I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your Blog and this entry was priceless. So very funny and what's scary is that it could happen to any of us. I never know what to expect when I read your next entry and I love it. Since I've recently discovered your blog I am trying to go back to the beginning and read all entries. Very enjoyable and your photography is wonderful. We are heading out tomorrow for Colorado in our MH so I will have time to catch up on your Blog. Thanks for all the good laughs.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. I worry that my blog gets stale at times and am always pleasantly surprised to find a new reader like yourself. Enjoy Colorado.

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    2. Thank you for your kind words. I worry that my blog gets stale at times and am always pleasantly surprised to find a new reader like yourself. Enjoy Colorado.

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  10. I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your Blog and this entry was priceless. So very funny and what's scary is that it could happen to any of us. I never know what to expect when I read your next entry and I love it. Since I've recently discovered your blog I am trying to go back to the beginning and read all entries. Very enjoyable and your photography is wonderful. We are heading out tomorrow for Colorado in our MH so I will have time to catch up on your Blog. Thanks for all the good laughs.

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  11. Ah my friend, thank you for this wonderful giggle fest to start my day. I would love to have seen the look on the other lady's face!! No more gum in the side door pocket!! Or beans either! I'm glad it all turned out well. You have a super day, hugs, Edna B.

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