Before I started my Whole 30 diet I was heating up the last frozen pizza. I was so looking forward to this treat since I won't be eating pizza for a long time.
I preheated the oven and slid it into place and then set the timer on the microwave. Why I don't use the one on the oven, I don't know...I always use the microwave.
Hmm, it says door ajar, so I opened and closed the door and hit START again and went to the other room to watch TV while my last pizza supper cooked.
Holy crap, batman! What is that horrible smell? Is my pizza burning? It smells like plastic, didn't I remove the wrapper?
Yikes! I noticed the microwave was turning around and the charred remnants that were my plastic splash guard and my cloth trivet holders were smoking. I didn't see any flames and when I opened the door the smoke poured out and the smell was awful.
I ran for the patio door to get outside and breathe, it was choking me. Then I ran back in and wet down a dish towel to put over my nose and mouth and pondered what to do.
Well, pondered may be an exaggeration...I was freaking out to be honest.
So, I started to fill the sink with water and sacrificed one of my plastic spatulas to the task of scooping out the smoking hot mess. The plastic stretched upwards like cheese on a pizza when you cut away that first slice. I tossed it into the water and ran more water over the top of it.
Oooooh! Like a cheese on a pizza...I'd forgotten the pizza in the oven by this time. So I turned off the oven and opened the door to more smoke as I pulled out a very crispy,charred pizza. Damn, damn and double damn.
Since this was my last pizza to be had and I was hungry I ate the better parts of the pizza and threw the rest.
Hmmm, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something here. It's a good thing I'm starting this new lifestyle change!
Long Live the Queen of Burnt Offerings