Goodbye Nancy

In everyone's life there come special people who help you at pivotal times to change your life.  I was fortunate to have Nancy Schurhammer as one of those friends.  Nancy loved life and laughter and was one of the wackiest friends I've ever had...and I've had several.


I learned some of my greater life lessons from her.  While at training in Madison for a new position at Social Security, she took me to a dirty book store and an X-rated movie.  Quite an eye opener for this small town girl.  Even though she was younger than me, she was the big sister I never had.


While working with her I would use her relentlessly to tell her how unhappy I was and how horrible my marriage was.  She listened patiently for a long time and then helped me in the best way possible.


She very calmly sat me down and told me she would back me in whatever decision I made, stay and work on the marriage or leave and start over...but...and this was the big "but" - unless I actually DID something about the situation I was to shut up and quit bitching about it.  She did not want to hear it any more.  At first I was shocked and appalled at her callousness and it wasn't until later that I saw the quiet wisdom in her action.  Within 30 days I asked for a divorce.  My son told me later that it was one of "the happiest days of his life" to know there would be a change.


Had I not had that encounter I would probably still be in an abusive relationship and miserable and whining to everyone who would listen how awful my life was.  I never would have been able to be free to marry Left Brain...and that would have been tragic.  Maybe better for him...but not me.


She would drive the hour from her house to mine to visit and have lunch.  When I marveled at this, she asked "aren't you worth it?".  In this small way she helped me rebuild a battered self esteem.


Nancy battled for a long time with breast cancer.  She was a young girl when her mother died from this same illness.  Her father died within a year of her mother and she was raised by her older brother and his wife.  Her brother died at age 51.  Her goal was to reach 54 because nobody else in her family had ever achieved more than 53 years of age.  She met that goal.


All through the cancer she never complained about her ordeal.  She always preferred to find the humor in every situation.  When visiting her in the nursing home before her death she asked if I knew how to remove the passive restraint from her wheelchair.  I lied and said "no" and she looked at me silently, then grinned and said "shit".  I learned later from her son that she did make a break for it once...she might not be able to get out of the wheelchair, but she could push the buttons on the elevator and get to the street.  She was heading home when they found her.  Such spirit...right to the end.


Before the funeral I visited a garden center in Rochester and found a lovely pagoda dogwood that will be planted in my meditation garden in her memory.  I also came across a clearance sale and purchased forty hostas, completely filling the car with plants, but that's another story for another time.


I will miss the birthday card she normally sent to me this year.  And I won't be able to return it to her.  For years we would exchange the same card, crossing out the name and resigning it, only the envelopes were refreshed for the postal carriers consideration.  We figured it saved on buying cards and was one of many a fun gag.


Nancy - you were one of a kind and I'll never know another just like you.  I'll miss you.


Long Live the Queen 

Busy as a bee

I'm actually hoping for rain soon for an excuse to stay in the house and do quieter things...but the exercise is good for me.  I can relate to the bee buzzing from one thing to another.  These guys are my friends, unlike the one that stung me in the garden yesterday.  Sometimes I think they are getting irked at all the extra plants I'm putting in - more work for them I suppose. 

When I had the car loaded down with cardboard to take to recycling I stopped at Shopko to catch some sales.  I didn't have any place to put my new purchases, so Zelda ended up holding one of them.  Why is she in the car you might ask?  No, it's not to use the carpool only lanes, we don't have those here.  I didn't want to leave her sitting in the garage...although now it's nice and clean and would be okay.  And I certainly can't leave her out all the time or she'd get wet from the sprinklers or rain.  So the safest place appeared to be in the back seat.  The guy who loaded up the birdseed yesterday never said a word...but then again they know me, so he probably didn't think anything unusual about it.

If I ever do decide to stop working and sit down, I have a nice area in the arbor now to do so.  I do sit for just a few minutes each morning out here to reflect on my many blessings before starting my day.


Long Live the Queen of Contentment

The progress continues

Each morning I start with a soak in the hot tub and then sit in the arbor and look at all the greenery and blooms.  It's the best way to start my day - calm and tranquil.  I'm looking for corners and spots that need a little oomph so I can check out plant sales later today.


On my little trek through the meditation garden there's one spot where the Quaking Aspen is low and threatens to poke my eyes out.  It occurred to me that this is the perfect opportunity for another archway, so I will check Menards this morning to see what might be cheap and suitable.  It will not only hold the branches up high enough to avoid injury, but provide yet another place for a climbing vine.


I also need to replenish the bird seed after the last raccoon attack.  The neighbor told me he just killed a couple recently, so maybe he got the ones that have been raiding me.  The Fourth of July weekend is such a good time for this as the other noise disguises the sound of the gunshots.


The lilies are starting to open...those  not yet eaten by the deer anyway.  They are such harbingers of joy.


Today I will learn how to glaze the clay creations I made at Joyce Diveley's Clay Camp for Grown-Ups.  I can't wait to see my projects again and see if they look as good as I thought they did a month ago.


Long Live the Queen of Abundance

Heat and the weekend

Sometimes extreme heat can be your best friend, at least on the Fourth of July weekend.  I'm not a lover of sudden loud noises, so the Fourth with all the firecrackers and fireworks can be really disturbing.  We have neighbors who love shooting these off and there's nothing wrong with it...I just don't enjoy it.  So, with the high head right now the windows are closed and the AC is cranked up.  Ah...the quiet.  I've slept better in the last few days than I ever have.


Now, some of that might also be from my daily activities.  I took some time to reflect on what was bugging me the most and it turned out to be the basement and garage...where everything just seems so out of control and corners filled with the smell of mice in-habitation. So...I bravely went into each and every corner of both and have removed places where nesting was occurring and swept and washed floors.  Of course I also rearranged shelving and the like...it's just what I do.  Both areas are looking good and I have nine bags of trash sitting out on the side of the road waiting for pick up.


Today I will finish up the basement and then will tackle the gardens this afternoon when it cools off a bit.  Temperatures are still in the mid - high 80's and I just can't handle the sunny areas, but there's lots of shade to work in where I live.


Another plus of this is the weight loss.  All I can handle is water while working outside, so meals get skipped and then I'm too hot and too tired to bother to eat.  So, I generally have a little cereal in the morning to jump start the metabolism and then work in a large lunch about noon to one.  Supper lately has been watermelon and fresh veggies and then it's early to bed to read, rest and recover.  It's a good life!


Once this is all completed I will tackle the living quarters, catch up on the laundry and paperwork and will be living good.  There's something about removing the clutter and unnecessary items in one's life...including unwanted fat and weight.  It feels very liberating.


This is my month of cleaning and clearing to start my Sixties at the end of the month by living my life the way I really want to - clean, unencumbered and on my own terms.  It's good to grow old!


Long Live the Queen of Total Control

First day home

What a joy to wake up in your own home....even if there's a lot of work waiting for you just outside the garage.  The day was hot and humid but we got the canned ham unloaded and parked on it's landing pad, which fits now.  The blocks all held and now I can begin to landscape around it....when it's a bit cooler.

I was a bit worried about the Weight Watcher meeting since I'd been taking in many more calories than normal and not terribly active.  But, I was pleasantly surprised to see a loss of 3.8 pounds, which sets me at 15.8 pounds total loss.  What a relief!  The leader asked me what helped me to succeed and I have to credit Left Brain for that.  When you're cooped up 24/7 with your spouse it's a lot harder to snack and cheat.  

My chores today were to clean the spa filters and the pond and get both of those running again.  I pulled a few hand full of weeds and took a walk around the garden to see what was blooming.  All the astilbes are in bloom now and look great, as well as the roses.  Then I picked the garden so we could snack on fresh veggies for supper.

After running the car through the car wash and having lunch at Panera, I did some grocery shopping and returned home to continue laundry and dishes.  It's amazing what a mess you can make while on vacation!  The house looked so nice when I left.  But all in time...a little each day and it will be back to it's normal self.

As I write this a scarlet tanager has landed on one of the sticks by the pond and bathe.   I think I need to see what's left in the garden centers that I can add to some empty spots.  There's not many any more, but each plant means less grass and weeds to pull, so I like to pack em in there.

Long Live the Queen of Domestic Chores