Taking Care of Business

On Monday I had my follow up visit with my doctor to go over the lab results.  With the Whole30 regime I'm not allowed to weigh myself, but technically...she was weighing me and I just happened to notice the numbers.  I'm down six pounds so far in just eight days, so I'm feeling pretty good about this new lifestyle.

I got my Prevnar 13 shot for pneumococcal pneumonia...good to go there.

The lab results are all good with a couple of things that are getting out of whack that she thinks diet and exercise will take care of.  So I am opting for not taking anything at this time and we'll check again in six months to see what the results are.

I got the TV all hooked up and couldn't find the Amazon button so did an online chat with Vizio and learned that it needs to be updated to the next version.  Sure enough, after following their instructions and waiting for it to take effect there it was.  I've been playing with my Amazon Prime movies and learning to create a watchlist, play, pause, etc.

My estimates came back for fixing the window and replacing the back door and we may be able to get another RV style door to keep the screen door function.  Otherwise it's a steel security door.

On Tuesday I went to the dentist in the morning to get my two crowns replaced.  I'm very impressed with this office.  They are able to take the impressions right there and using some kind of a 3D printer they mill the new crowns on site.  Then they tried them in my mouth to make sure everything was good before they did the final baking.  It added another 20-30 minutes to my appointment, but there was no getting temporary crowns and having to return for the real ones.

I called the man about the door and window again today and arranged for him to come over at 4:00 for final measurements and seeing for sure which door would be best.

I ran home to get my pickleball paddle and a banana for lunch since my mouth was still frozen and I could at least manage a banana without any damage .  I played until 3:00 and decided to return a little early for a shower and get some cooking done before he came for the measurements.

You can imagine my surprise when I entered a very warm house.  The AC had quit at some point during the day and it's now 108 outside and 90 inside.  Thank goodness for our insulated windows that are helping hold it to a livable level.

The ceiling fans came on placed on the floor for my poor suffering furry friends.  I took a nice shower and wet down the cats to help with cooling.

The repairman wasn't able to come until the following day, so it was a warm and sticky night...but hey...I'm from before AC was standard in each house so I just dealt with it. With the lower temperatures it only reached about 93 degrees and in the morning it was cool enough to need my sheet and blanket again.

Wednesday morning was very productive since I needed to stick around for the arrival of the repairman, so fixed a nice breakfast of bacon with eggs and left over asparagus.  The old me would have been all whiny about not being able to add some goat cheese or feta cheese to this dish.  The new me was marveling at how incredible asparagus tastes.  I'm starting to have a shift in my taste buds and the flavors seem more alive than ever before and I realize that in the past all I was tasting was the cheese.

The repairman arrived about 2:00 and our AC was low on freon.  Now it's runny nice and things are cool again.

Each day brings a new adventure!

Long Live the Sweaty Queen

Book Report: Women and Desire ...Beyond Wanting to Be Wanted

In this book the author, Polly Young-Eisendrath, tackles answers to Freud's question about what women really want.

This resonated with me during my period of hermitage as I grapple with the question of "What do I want from my life?"  I don't think this question is unique to any woman and my personal belief is that it all stems from the way we were raised.  Think about all the stories, such as Cinderella, we were fed growing up while forming our values as little girls.

We were trained that if we were good enough, nice enough, pretty enough, well mannered and sweet then some day a handsome prince would come sweeping down the hillside on his white stallion to claim us as his own and we'd live happily ever after.  Bull-crap!

That's why this book really hit a nerve as I learned how women have been conditioned to be the Object of Desire, with no core self, no clear autonomy and self determination under our own control.  The Prince Charming is the Subject of the story and the helpless damsel in distress is merely the Object of Desire.

Here is a quote from the book that I liked: "When you learn to speak the truth, you come to recognize that you have no special power over others to make them do your bidding.  You cannot pressure or scare away others by speaking your desires.  Other adults also have free will.  We all have a responsibility to speak our own desires and to respect those of others."

While reading this book I was recalling how my daughter expressly asked that we not compliment the granddaughters on how pretty they were, even though they are stunningly gorgeous.  We were asked to tell them how smart they were, how brave, how clever, how tough...anything but focus on their physical attributes.  These little girls are now young women who are spirited and not afraid to speak their minds!

A friend of mine, Yifat Gohar Levenstein, has recently proclaimed a year long ban of not shopping to break ties with consumerism and portions of one chapter in this book really hit home with me on how she feels. She will be sharing her experiences on a month by month basis and it should be interesting to see how it goes.

Women have been historically linked to shopping as men are to sports as it provides a feeling of being in control and making our own choices.  But this is just a clever ruse as well.

Years ago only the elite would afford the latest styles and fashions while the everyday woman looked on in longing.  Then came the department stores with ready-to-wear clothing that allowed access to more women to participate in the competition for fashion.  This phenomenon forged a pattern in women to shop ever three or four days as it became an outlet for social interaction and pleasure.

As the author states "a profound cultural transformation in which both women and stores were caught up in the murky business of creating desires and longings that can never be satisfied." "Shopping was designed for women as an intoxicating mix of promises to be both the Object and the Subject of Desire"

A further extension of this is the contemporary shopping mall and mega discount store that can now appeal to all women at all income levels.  It all comes down to consumerism and a ploy to reach as wide a market as possible.

Then the author brings down the sad truth: "But women are not in control of either the fashion industry or other large retail enterprises, they have once again been tricked into believing they have power as Objects of Desire. Retailers seduce us to buy freedom when no freedom is available. Instead of freedom, modern consumerism creates more desire, even compulsion". Shopping was designed to create and multiply desires for things and images. Most shoppers are unconscious or somewhat unconscious that shopping environments, especially beautiful and sensually pleasing ones, create need and breed desire."

Does this make you think of all those stupid purchases we've made to "make us feel better"?  I know I sure did.  The thrill of seeing the item, purchasing it and then having it hang in the closet and seldom or never worn.  Reading this book and learning where that need comes from made me both angry and sad.  Is it any wonder that teenagers flock to the mall? 

She brings it home with how to break this cycle and become the Subject of our own story, rather than molding ourselves  into what we believe will make us desirable to others.  The following is a collection of quotes from the book that gave me strength and hope in creating myself into the person I want to be.

• Personal sovereignty or autonomy means feeling free to choose and to intend your actions.
• To be capable of personal sovereignty, you must come to know all your desires.
• Holding on to your authority means breathing deeply and standing firmly behind your decision without shame or blame.
• If we don't wake up to the problem of wanting to be wanted, and practice being the Subjects of our own desires, then we feel that others are always choosing for us, that our lives do not belong to us. We don't feel responsible for actions because we feel out of control.
• Personal sovereignty is the ability to know and practice self-determination in whatever circumstances you find yourself.
• Those who identify with being Objects rather than Subjects function more in terms of what they "ought" to do, what they "have to" do, or what they "should" do because their sense of worth arises from others' evaluations, reflections, desires.
• Men have been cheated out of a range of feelings and experiences in emulating the lone hero, resulting in unhealthy internal pressures, excessive narcissism, and feelings of isolation, resentment, and depression.
• Unless you have two options, you don't have a choice.
• To engage your desires, with the recognition that they will teach you about your limitations, your vulnerability, and your conflicts, as well as your strengths, will lead to the discovery of your own nature, of who you are.

It has been an interesting journey into the self as I read and learn and practice making my own choices.

Long Live the Queen of Books

New Toys for a New Life

One of the members of my support team, we'll call her Jennifer because that's her name, has been very instrumental in guiding me through these dietary changes in my life.

She is a guru in the kitchen for knowing what to buy and how to fix it in a healthy manner and I'm happy to have her on my team.

Since so much of the food I'm eating now requires baking and roasting and the temperatures this week are expected to be record setting highs of near 120 degrees; I was very intrigued by her mention of a NuWave Oven which generates very little heat.

So, I was off to Bed Bath & Beyond to search out this little treasure.  Actually, it's not so little, but is very light.  Since I have a very small space to work in I opted for setting it up on a table on the deck, but soon it was too hot to be outside and it had to come back in.

Thankfully it fit in the weird useless corner shelf, otherwise there was no space for it at all.

It has a clear dome so you can watch the food cooking, which is kind of fun.  Nothing like watching the bacon sizzle and turn brown.

Also, since I'm not using the oven in my house now I've put the cover over the cooktop and have been using my induction burner for any indoor cooking I need to do.

This is simplifying my cooking since there is a lot of food prep with this diet, but it should be worth it and it did provide an excuse for some new toys!

Long Live the Queen

OOOOPS!!

Before I started my Whole 30 diet I was heating up the last frozen pizza.  I was so looking forward to this treat since I won't be eating pizza for a long time.

I preheated the oven and slid it into place and then set the timer on the microwave.  Why I don't use the one on the oven, I don't know...I always use the microwave.

Hmm, it says door ajar, so I opened and closed the door and hit START again and went to the other room to watch TV while my last pizza supper cooked.

Holy crap, batman!  What is that horrible smell?  Is my pizza burning?  It smells like plastic, didn't I remove the wrapper?

Yikes!  I noticed the microwave was turning around and the charred remnants that were my plastic splash guard and my cloth trivet holders were smoking.  I didn't see any flames and when I opened the door the smoke poured out and the smell was awful. 

I ran for the patio door to get outside and breathe, it was choking me.  Then I ran back in and wet down a dish towel to put over my nose and mouth and pondered what to do.

Well, pondered may be an exaggeration...I was freaking out to be honest.

So, I started to fill the sink with water and sacrificed one of my plastic spatulas to the task of scooping out the smoking hot mess.  The plastic stretched upwards like cheese on a pizza when you cut away that first slice.  I tossed it into the water and ran more water over the top of it.

Oooooh!  Like a cheese on a pizza...I'd forgotten the pizza in the oven by this time.  So I turned off the oven and opened the door to more smoke as I pulled out a very crispy,charred pizza.  Damn, damn and double damn.

Since this was my last pizza to be had and I was hungry I ate the better parts of the pizza and threw the rest.  

Hmmm, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something here.  It's a good thing I'm starting this new lifestyle change!

Long Live the Queen of Burnt Offerings

Week One of the Whole 30 Completed

Well, the first week of this new diet is done and without any major setbacks...until today.  It wasn't a major setback, but more of a small blip.

I was checking out a new synagogue today and did not plan my meals well.  For breakfast I wasn't hungry so only had some honeydew melon.  I took a banana with me to eat in the car, but I was very stressed and anxious of this new synagogue and pulled into a McDonald's.

This isn't going to end well was my first thought.  I ordered the sausage and egg burritos with a hash brown and orange juice.  I didn't plan to eat the tortilla, but threw caution to the wind and chomped down.  The orange juice in retrospect probably had more sugar in it than I really needed, but it seemed the safer choice.  The hash brown is just potatoes, even though the frying probably wasn't completely kosher either.

Ooops, what an odd choice of word right before going into shul.

The service was lovely and I felt welcomed and embraced by the tiny group that made up the service.  Apparently summer time is hard on all shuls in their endeavor to make a minyan.

I really enjoyed the entire experience and think I found my new spiritual home.  For the kiddish they had what appeared to be white grape juice and some challah.  I drank the "wine" or juice, not sure since it was a tiny amount and took a teensy bit of bread since it seemed more important to "break bread" with this group than follow the diet to the letter.

After I finished up some shopping I stopped for a haircut and to pick up some groceries.  When I got home I fixed myself a nice big taco salad made with some bison meat I'd prepared yesterday.  I found a salsa that looked the most Whole 30 compliant and it added a kick to my taste buds that was needed badly.

Technically I should be starting on Day 1 again as the rules state, but I'm a rebel and will just continue on my merry way since my transgressions didn't seem all that severe.  I do have to admit that after my small indulgences every sweet treat I spotted the rest of the day was calling my name louder than the day prior.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day and I'll resume with new vigor and strength.

Long Live the Hungry Queen