Back to Sweet Home Arizona

I've left the rainy days of Minnesota behind and am back to the dry heat of Arizona. I loved seeing everyone while there and being able to attend Emily's graduation but it's time to resume my journey of self exploration.

Thanks to my gracious and kind neighbors I was picked up at the airport at 10:20 PM and taken to my house which had lights on to greet me, was cooled off, water turned on and golf cart plugged in.  You don't get any better neighbors than this!

Two years ago when I spent the summer in Arizona alone I learned so much about myself and now I want to continue that development.


I will have six weeks to indulge in my desires in trying to become the person I want to be.  I believe it's never too late to find out who you want to be when you grow up.

This will involve a great deal of book reading on trying to heal the early wounds inflicted by the lack of affection from my mother, which my daughter (the therapist) tells me creates some of the deepest trauma wiring in the body.

My friend, the warrior woman vampire slayer

For preparation on my journey I went to see a spiritual intuitive recommended by a friend of mine .  It's quite an experience to have someone who knows nothing about you pick up on what's happened in your life.  She has assigned Arch Angel Michael & Sarah to me in addition to Mother Mary. Even though I am Jewish, this last addition to my guides sounded very comforting.  Maybe it was the lack of a mother that it's hard to believe someone named Mother Mary could love me.  I returned to her for a Reiki healing session to open my chakras...so look out!

My daughter has worked with me on this issue.  I know intellectually I am loved, but I can't seem to incorporate this into my being.  I need to learn to let go of the horrible things my mother has said to me over the years in her explanation of how I ruined her life (her words).

For too long I have conveniently been able to to blame Left Brain for all the things I have not done because he did not share the same interests.  So, it's put up or shut up time.  I need to ascertain the fact that he's not the one holding me back.  I fear it's really me...but this will make that certain.  For too long I have dulled myself in playing video games while I sit and eat, reading while I sit and eat, watching TV while I sit and eat, going to movies to escape reality and eat.  Hmmm....there seems to be theme here that may be the cause of my weight problem.

I have six weeks to explore learning to dance, attending concerts, developing some sort of physical discipline....yoga, tai chi, Pilates, walking, who knows what it will be.  

My other goals include:

Writing daily in my blog about each day...kind of a journal to myself and to any one who wants to follow along.

Learning to embrace a daily habit of meditation...something very difficult for someone my Rabbi has nicknamed Squirrel due to my inattentiveness.

Getting my 10,000 steps a day in each day.

Playing pickleball as much as possible - that's a given.

Continuing my exploration into learning how to cook in my new vegan-vegetarian lifestyle to create healthy and yet tasty foods.  I have to move past this irrational fear of new things and just get in the kitchen and try it.  Thankfully there are some people I know that I may be able to tap into for lessons.

Having my annual physical to see if any of the dietary changes have changed numbers for my cholesterol and other things.  My weight continues to stay too high and I need direction on how to lose weight.

Finding a massage therapist who can incorporate Reiki in the sessions.

Doing massages on others to re-develop my intuitiveness that has been dormant or stifled, not sure which.  I need to get "back in touch" so to speak.

Taking some dance classes and dancing somewhere at least once a week.

Strengthening some  of the relationships with women that I value.

Whew.  I'm a bit tired from just thinking about all of that.  But this is my goal...wish me luck.

Long Live the Queen of Over Achievement