A Tale of Two Nostrils

Image courtesy of Shayna Karnick

Remember those stories of children getting beans stuck up their noses?  How silly, right?  Well, I understand now how that can happen.

It's allergy season and Left Brain and I have both been sneezing and blowing our noses on a regular basis. Therefore, a box of tissues is usually close at hand.

However convenient they may be, I still find that after one blow I tuck the slightly used tissue aside for later use.  I don't think I am the only one who does this.  You know who you are. Don't judge me.

Anyway, I digress.  The tissue that is awaiting further opportunities goes into a little pocket on the passenger side door.  Not a bad plan.

Now, this is where it went hinky.  Left Brain and I like to chew some gum after we've had lunch out somewhere, so I also like to have some waste paper or tissue in this same little pocket for when we spit it out.  Neither of us can stand to have it in our mouths more than about 30 minutes.

Not thinking, I grabbed the tissue from the door pocket and positioned it for my second blowing of the nose.  Yup...you guessed it.  This was the tissue that had the old gum in it, which was now wedged up my left nostril.

I'm thinking a bean would have much easier to remove since it remains solid, unlike an old wad of chewing gum that is...shall we say....sticky.  Especially when it bonds with those little nose hairs that are way in the back.  Those hairs have a purpose, but I don't think securing chewing gum was one of them.

As I'm trying to extract the gum from the left nostril, it's stretching out.... as gum will do.  It must have looked pretty gross, because the lady's face in the car that pulled up next to us was priceless.  I wanted to lower the window and explain it wasn't snot, but rather an old piece of chewing gum, and then decided that really didn't seem to be a valid explanation.

Seeing her face made me laugh and sometimes when I laugh hard I snort (and pee my pants, but that's another story).  

Did you know you can blow a bubble through your nose? 

I'd never considered the logistics of this before, but please just take my word for it that it is possible.  There's really no need to attempt it yourself to prove or disclaim my statement.

Once we arrived home I went after it with a Q-Tip to remove the left over stuff and this sent me into a sneezing spasm.  Something about a foreign object stuck up your nose causes sneezing I guess.  Another side effect is laughter.

And when your husband looks worried (and slightly appalled) and starts shouting "It's NOT funny!", well that's when I laughed so hard my tears ran down my legs.

But finally I find myself this evening all cleaned up and gum free...and it seems to have helped my allergies.

Long Live the Queen of Sneeze

Yes, I realize the pretty photo of the flower had nothing to do with the story, but it was better than a photo of my plugged up nose.