Where does bravery come from?

Bravery or necessity?

I’m curious now and would like to hear from some others on this issue.  Let me explain what I mean.

When dining with a friend recently she kept marveling at “how brave” I was when I mentioned going to a movie alone or dining alone with my Kindle when Left Brain was on the road so much before our RV life.

I certainly did not feel these were acts of bravery in any way but she confessed that she had never (and could not imagine) going to a movie alone.

I reasoned with her that I love movies more than he does, he was gone and the plus side is you don’t have to share your popcorn.  Since I was an only child, this just didn't seem like a big deal.  I was raised by my grandmother and learned to enjoy my own company very early in life.

Somehow the thought of going into a restaurant totally alone to eat was frightening to her.  I countered with my conception that it is a perfect experience and one of the more blissful things I enjoy.  There’s nothing like having a ME moment.  Perhaps it’s an only child thing.  Maybe it’s an introvert thing.  I don’t know.

She appeared totally shocked when I told her of my drive from Wisconsin to Kansas City MO to attend a doll convention.  I must admit, this was pretty heady stuff for me as well.  I’d never embarked on a long trip alone before, and while I had some apprehensions I certainly didn't feel scared in any way.

Am I brave or just dumb to feel this way?  My reasoning is that there are places I want to go and I just can’t depend on finding someone to tag along with me.  So does that mean I sit home?  I think not.

These things were not always inherent in my personality, but were forged over time.  I came from a family full of fear and uncertainty…the dreaded “what if?” always hanging over your head.

It took a good long time to squash those “what ifs” from my brain and replace it with “well, why not?”  I figured you can fall deathly ill or have a tragic accident right in your own home, why sit there in presumed safety.  Why not get out and explore the world and deal with what comes your way?  Left Brain had a relative that I found inspiring with her motto of "when the good Lord comes knocking on the door for me, I don't plan to be home".

I've learned over life to look at my fears and try to confront them head on.  I used to have a fear of heights but after working my way through the treetops and flying through the open air on a zip line, that one is gone.

My fear of roller coasters isn't gone, but it’s better…largely due to two crafty scheming granddaughters who have tricked me various times into going on rides I might not have wanted to go on.

I used to have a morbid fear of the dark, needing a flashlight to go to the bathroom at night, but with the help of a therapist using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) that’s gone.  If you have any phobias that you want to get rid of, find a therapist skilled in this technique.  It’s fast, easy and highly effective.  Check it out on the internet sometime.

I used to have be afraid of becoming fat – now I’m over 200 pounds (at 5’ 4”) and over that…although now that I've conquered that fear, I’d really like to get rid of the excess baggage that surrounds me.

Fear of getting old?  I’m living my way through that one.  I find each decade is better than the next one, with new wonders to be found each and every day.

Snakes?  Not a problem.  Spiders?  I’ll fun from the room screaming like a sissy girl.  Hey…I've got to have something to fear, right?

I think Winston Churchill said it best – the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.  

Once you confront it you’ll wonder what it was that was so terrible.

Maybe I’ll work on that spider thing eventually – maybe not.

Long Live the Queen of Arachnophobia