Today is National Take a Walk on the Wild Side

This is not me....keep reading.

Maybe it's not actually walking on the wild side, but I'm trying to be conscious of my need for more exercise and have started parking the car further way and therefore walking more.  However, yesterday got a little out of hand. 


No, this is not me on my walk...but I fear that it could be someday if I don't curb things soon.  Keep reading to the end to understand why she's gracing my blog.

the dryer that's leaving us

We recently bought a new front loading washer and I told Left Brain that when the dryer died I want to stack the new one, take the cupboards out of the laundry area and put in some shelving.  The cupboards look real nice, but being short, I mean vertically impaired (must remain PC in the blog) and leaning over a washer/dryer, I can only access the front of the bottom shelf.  If they were stacked I could then put in shelves on the side that I could actually access!  How cool would that be?!

the new washer

Now, Left Brain is a very intelligent man...but he doesn't always think before he speaks.  He said "I think Joe needs a washer, doesn't he?"  Hmmm.  I do recall his friend saying that when we were storing our R-Pod in his barn for the remainder of the winter.  So, I sent a text to my son and asked him and he said sure.  Thank you Joe!  So, now I'm off to buy a dryer and new shelving.


I knew the washer was coming from Home Depot as they had a 10% sale on all their appliances, but I wanted to check the shelving at Wal-Mart first.  So, I shuffled off to Wal-Mart and picked up some more tuna for She Devil (she'll only eat the Great Value brand) and checked out the shelving.  Ooooh.  A black metal one with five shelves for under $50.  That could be good.  But in my mind (weak as it is) I remembered Home Depot had a silver unit that was nice.  So, I headed over to Home Depot.  


After making the arrangements for the dryer I went to look at the shelving.  It was not as tall as I thought - they look much taller when they are raised up to eye level, and it cost more than the one at Wal-Mart.  So...back to Wally World to get the shelves.  Being tired and wanting to get on with it I went through the self check out. Or in this case...the shelf check out.  Hmm.  How to lift this large heavy box to scan it?  Perhaps this was not a good idea.  I got the scanner to beep and gratefully plucked it down in the cart again.  The young woman watching this came over and told me it failed to scan.  She pointed out the code I needed to run past the scanner, so I heisted it up again and dragged it across the scanner.  Finally it beeped, she said it was okay and I plunked it back into the cart.  Then she asked me if I needed any help getting it into the car.  This is where I needed Bill Engvall to step in and say "here's your sign".  She saw me lift it twice and now I might need help?  I declined any assistance and wrestled them into the car.  


Why I decided to check the receipt for the dryer at this moment I'm not sure, but it was a good thing.  I didn't get my 10% off!  So, hot and tired after bench pressing the box of shelving and the fact it hit 81 that day, I trudged back to Home Depot.  After talking to three different people that issued was resolved and the extra money credited back.  I felt a bit like one of those ducks in the carnival games that goes back and forth while people shoot at it.


Now my reward - lunch at Culver's.  I had spent about a half an hour calculating various menu options online before leaving on my expedition, so I was ready.  They were not featuring the stuffed green pepper soup I wanted today, so I had the single hamburger (no mayor or butter) with a side of green beans for a total of 11 points.  Kind of high (total points for the day are 29), but it worked.  I had had a banana as my mid morning treat so was doing okay.


Last stop of the day...Festival Foods for more fruit and my new friend, Greek yogurt.  I was nervous after being so hungry yesterday, but I think I figured out that I need to eat the fruit and veggie snacks that are zero points before I feel the hunger pains - that way my stomach is happier all the time and I don't feel so desperate.  If my stomach ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

not her, but the same view

While shopping for my yogurt I noticed a heavy set lady (fatter than me, so that was satisfying) clad in an outfit better suited for Paris Hilton.  The top was very clingy and there was a lot to cling on to.  That was bad enough, but the skirt.  OMG!  The skirt (black, so it appeared more slimming I suppose) was so short that when she bent forward to place items in her cart it raised up enough to see some very fleshy buttocks.  I was being mooned right in the dairy aisle.
It was the same sort of phenomena where you drive past a car wreck  and you don't really want to look and yet you can't peel your eyes away.    Part of me wondered if she had no underwear or was wearing a thong and the other part of me was repulsed by either option.  

It was a very sobering wake up call.  I began chanting (silently...I hope)  "I will not exceed my points..I will not exceed my points"  as I grabbed my yogurt like it was a lifeline.  Maybe it was the shock to my corneas, but my vision was magically enhanced and I noticed that there were flavors of the Greek yogurt also, with fruit already in there.  Wow!  I took several kinds to try and pulled in my stomach (as much as possible) and proudly wheeled my cart of healthy choices to the check out.


Please don't feel badly about my comments regarding this lady.  I don't like to bad mouth people, but this was ridiculous.  I would never subject the sight of my flab to anyone else.  Hey...if I can't stand to look at it, why should you?  


Long Live the Queen of Greek Yogurt.